Progressive grave yards and bi-focals

What a day!  Just as a young girl passes into puberty by having her first period, I pass into middle age?with the necessity to wear tri-focals,  apparently called  “progressive transitional lenses”.  It seemed to happen so quickly…out of the blue, some might say….but really one expects these life transitions to occur and yet is simultaneously shocked when it does.

I picked up my new glasses today and then took Cally for a walk at the town cemetary.  I enjoy reading the grave stones, and recently developed a facination with the ones that have the names of couples who have yet to die.  They are  not much older than me.  Is this the next big thing?  Is this what Pat and I should do?;  buy our new grave sites ,  carve the head stones….and on every Sunday visit our own grave and give ourselves flowers? I don’t get it.  Is this also a progressive transition?

Honestly, I don’t understand why my glasses were called “progressive lenses”.  The word “progressive” always held positive connotations until now:  middle-aged couples buying their final resting place with swanky headstones and eyewear made to help them transition into blindness…PROGRESSIVE?

The eye doctor told me that it would be awkward for the first couple of weeks.  Some things will be closer than they really are, and others will be further., “please just watch out for steps and curbs until you get use to them”…ya…ya…ya.. whatever…

As I left the cemetary, I drove up and over the curb, much to the delight of the car entering.  I then  realized the only thing progressing is me towards the finish line.

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